Your story is what?
Have you ever heard anyone say, what’s your story? I had read enough from successful mentors, self-discovery authors and speakers to know that a person was NOT, in fact, their story. Okay, I had this one down.
I believed what they meant was that a person was NOT a combination of where they were born, from a divorced family or not, had abusive relatives, had awesome relatives, did well in school, were invisible to their peers, etc. This was the definition of what I thought my story actually was. THE story of what molded me into who I showed up today as an adult. I thought no more about it.
If I didn’t buy into a “pity-me” past and overcame some obstacles that I could possibly use today as excuses, then I was NOT my story. Pretty simple.
In my mastermind group, we were challenged a bit deeper on what we personally thought was our story. After I recited my “story” and indicated where I took the higher road on many of my past experiences, I felt like I was on track. I was yes, and, I had more to realize. What?
After some journaling exercises, I was introduced to the notion that there was actually “one” underlying “story” that dictated my whole perception of my reality into the very present moment.
For example, delving deeper into my how I perceived life today, I realized that my “story” was that what I had to say was unimportant and I wasn’t being heard. People of authority knew more. I was just there as a support to what others had to say. Say What?! This underlying story had been controlling my whole life until, I finally understood exactly what “my story” was, and changed it. No wonder I was hitting blocks that I could not get past and didn’t know how or why they kept showing up.
Further, unconsciously, I attracted people around me that made my story “real”. This is why I found myself in relationships where I wasn’t being recognized and had no real voice. I was in the relationship, but felt left out. I was invisible and therefore, my opinion, my life didn’t really matter. I was there as a support because they were more of the authoritative figure. At first, I was extremely sad that I had not even given myself permission to live.
I could go on and on how it was ME that created this reality. For so many years, I blamed it on the people that I had actually chosen to make my story real. I had to do this as protection. It worked when I was age five somehow, but now it was between myself and myself.
This was my “ah ha” moment. And, from here, I knew I needed to change my story and to change the paradigm, I was not worth having around.
Most of my friendships were running quite nicely on my old story and it was up to me to change these dynamics. Needless to say, when I changed my story, their stories were unstable because for whatever reason, they chose my “old story” to satisfy their own unconscious stories. Such a vicious cycle this non-loving predicament we place ourselves.
Today, I live differently, because I choose not to find people to make my old story right. I have no story anymore. Let me put it clearer. If my old story comes up, I have the skills to recognize it and let it go without judgment. I don’t beat myself up, I don’t spend too much time analyzing and I move onward.
It is also important not to make other’s wrong. Your inner work is always, your work. I have let those I love, know how I viewed life and I was getting rid of my “story” and many of my past relationships have shifted into amazing new levels (even more that I could have ever imagined). Some friendships didn’t survive because they were based on our old fears made up long ago and our friendship lost the “fix-it” narrative and we had nothing in common any longer.
So, what is your story that you’ve made sure EVERYONE around you makes sure it survives?
Your Lifestyle is Your Business